Conflict Resolution
Conflict is defined as a disagreement or dispute between two or more parties, often involving opposing goals, opinions, or interests.
It is a natural and inevitable part of human interaction, arising from differences in perspectives, values, and needs.
Conflicts can occur anywhere and in a variety of settings—including personal relationships, workplaces, communities, and nations.
For a police officer, direct conflict only accounts for about 10 to 30% of daily responsibilities. Yet, for most officers, it often feels like much more. From domestic disputes and crimes in progress to crowd control, these moments of tension can easily overshadow the day. The real challenge? How do you manage conflict without letting it take control of you? How can you resolve conflict swiftly and effectively, staying in command of every situation?
The key to navigating conflict lies in the strategies you develop and refine over time. Mastering conflict resolution not only helps you defuse tense situations but also builds trust within our community, minimizes the need for force, and ensures safer outcomes for everyone involved.
By honing your conflict resolution skills, you’ll be equipped to address issues peacefully, ensuring safety for both yourself and the public, while also strengthening relationships in the process.
In this session, we’ll explore some powerful strategies you can use to take control of conflict before it takes control of you.
“You can’t shake hands with a closed fist.”
Self-Assessment:
Conflict Resolution
Please take a few moments to contemplate the following self-reflection questions. Where can you identify opportunities for personal growth in your leadership?
Do I use clear, calm, and non-judgmental language when interacting with individuals during a conflict?
Am I able to maintain a respectful tone, even when the other person is upset or confrontational?
When a conflict arises, do I assess the situation before taking immediate action?
Am I aware of my body language, and do I use non-threatening gestures to help defuse tension?
Do I reflect on past conflicts I’ve handled, and identify areas for improvement?
How well do I manage my own emotions when faced with conflict or hostility?
Am I able to stay objective and not take verbal attacks personally during a conflict?
Do I approach conflicts with the goal of understanding the underlying issues, rather than focusing solely on control?
Take your time and reflect upon these questions honestly. These questions can serve as a self-assessment tool to help you evaluate how effectively you navigate conflict.
“There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away from these people. The battle they are fighting isn’t with you, it is with themselves.”
When conflict is handled skillfully, our police department can achieve greater efficiency, effectiveness, and hopefully maintain higher morale. Unfortunately, even in the best of circumstances, conflict can be tough to navigate—and when left unchecked, it can wreak havoc on both the individual and our organization.
What can happen when conflict is not effectively handled:
Poor conflict resolution can cause situations to escalate. When conflict is handled poorly it can erode trust in law enforcement.
Poorly managed conflict within the police force can lead to internal friction, damaging team morale and creating a toxic work environment.
An officer who consistently handles conflicts poorly can lose credibility within the department and with community members, becoming a public relation challenge.
Most importantly, officers who do not manage conflict well may experience increased stress, anxiety, or burnout.
You can see there are several reasons for you to become adept at resolving conflict. If not addressed, conflicts can spiral into bigger issues, potentially causing harm not only for you personally, but also within our department and across the broader community as a whole.
Take a minute and think about the last conflict that you experienced. What was it about? How did it start? More often than not, in most situations, conflict starts with the same thing—misuse of words.
Somebody says something to somebody, it is misinterpreted, and a judgment is made.
What are some words that can escalate conflict?
Here are just a few:
“Always”/”Never” – Absolutes like these can make people feel attacked or misunderstood.
“You” (in an accusatory way) – Starting a sentence with "You" can come across as blame, putting the other person on the defensive.
“Calm down” – This phrase is often perceived as dismissive and invalidates the person’s feelings.
“Whatever” – Often seen as dismissive or indicating apathy, which can frustrate others.
“But” – Using "but" after a statement can negate the previous sentiment and lead to misunderstanding.
“Why?” (in a critical tone) – Can sound accusatory and provoke defensiveness.
“You’re wrong” – Directly telling someone they are wrong can escalate a disagreement instead of fostering dialogue.
“Should” – Implies that the person is being judged for not meeting expectations.
“I don’t care” – Suggests indifference or lack of concern, which can invalidate the other person’s feelings.
"Stupid”/Insults – Insulting or demeaning language directly attacks the person and is a clear conflict trigger.
“Peace is not absence of conflict, it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means.”
Being mindful of our language in interactions is key to creating a safe, professional, and respectful environment, helping to reduce the likelihood of potential conflicts.
Think about what you are saying. How are you using your words?
Use the following questions to reflect on your use of language.
Do I choose words that de-escalate or escalate a situation?
How often do I use absolutes like “always” or “never” in conversations?
Am I using a tone that could be perceived as dismissive or accusatory?
Do I take the time to listen before responding, or do I react too quickly?
When giving directions or instructions, do I use clear and respectful language?
How often do I start sentences with “You” in a way that places blame or criticism?
Am I mindful of how my words might affect the emotions or perceptions of others?
Do I use phrases like “calm down” or “whatever” that may come across as invalidating?
Am I showing empathy and understanding through my words when dealing with stressful situations?
Have I ever reflected on how my choice of words impacts trust and cooperation from the public?
How can I change my language to be more effective in fostering positive interactions and de-escalating conflicts?
Do I consider the cultural or individual differences in how people might interpret my words?
Am I open to feedback about how my communication style may affect others?
What can I learn from past interactions where my words either helped or hindered conflict resolution?
There are many ways to get better at handling conflict. One of the key ways is to PRACTICE!
In this section, you will have scenarios to consider. Why scenarios? Scenarios allow you to apply knowledge in practical ways with real-life examples. These scenarios will allow you to reflect on potential actions, strengthen your problem-solving skills, and practice critical decision-making. You can even discuss possible solutions with someone else, ask for feedback, and then refine your techniques—maybe even partner with your Eagle coach for this discussion.
Take a few minutes to fine-tune your conflict resolution abilities, and hopefully, you will be better equipped when you are faced with your next conflict or challenge.
What Would You Do?
Here are a few police scenarios that focus on conflict resolution. Read each Scenario and decide what the best way would be for you to handle the situation before clicking on the Potential Solution.
Scenario 1: Neighborhood Dispute Escalation
Two neighbors are in a heated argument over a property line. One neighbor accuses the other of repeatedly trespassing and destroying part of a garden. The argument has become loud, and there are threats of physical violence. Both neighbors are on edge and yelling when officers arrive.
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Officers need to separate the parties, actively listen to both sides, and de-escalate the tension. The goal is to mediate the situation and propose a temporary solution until a formal boundary survey can be conducted. Officers should remain neutral and prevent the argument from becoming physical while facilitating calm dialogue.
Scenario 2: Domestic Argument
A couple is having a loud argument at home, and the neighbors call the police due to concerns that the fight might turn violent. When officers arrive, they find the couple yelling at each other, with broken items on the floor, though neither person appears injured. The situation is emotionally charged, and tensions are high.
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Officers need to de-escalate the situation by separating the individuals and speaking to them in a calm, controlled manner. They should work to defuse the emotions, identify the root cause of the conflict, and potentially refer the couple to a counselor or support services. The goal is to resolve the immediate threat of violence and offer resources for long-term solutions without taking sides.
Scenario 3: Workplace Dispute
A heated dispute breaks out between two employees at a local business. One employee accuses the other of stealing from their workspace, leading to a shouting match in front of other workers. Tensions have risen, and it’s on the verge of becoming a physical confrontation.
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Officers must speak to both parties separately, identifying the facts and calming emotions. Through active listening, officers should work to diffuse the anger and facilitate communication between the employees, guiding them toward a peaceful resolution or suggesting mediation with their employer or HR. They must prevent the argument from escalating into violence while ensuring a safe work environment.
Scenario 4: Protest De-escalation
A small protest has formed outside a government building, and tensions are rising between the protesters and security staff. The protest is peaceful, but arguments are starting to break out between the protesters and building employees. There’s potential for the situation to escalate if emotions continue to build.
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Officers must use negotiation and crowd-control tactics to maintain order while respecting the protesters' rights. They should establish communication with protest leaders, listen to their concerns, and create a dialogue to prevent the situation from becoming chaotic. Officers should remain neutral and ensure that communication lines stay open between all parties to maintain peace.
Scenario 5: Police Department Internal Conflict
Two officers within the department have a long-standing disagreement that has started affecting their work. Their arguments are becoming disruptive during team briefings, and one officer has started to avoid assignments with the other. Morale is suffering as their conflict creates division among other officers.
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A supervisor steps in to mediate the conflict, bringing both officers together in a private setting. The goal is to facilitate open communication where both parties can express their grievances and work toward a resolution that allows them to function professionally as a team. The focus is on conflict resolution skills, team cohesion, and the supervisor’s ability to maintain fairness and authority.
By reflecting on how you handle conflict, you can continuously improve your ability to defuse tense situations, foster positive relationships, and create safer environments for everyone involved. Mastering conflict resolution not only enhances your professional effectiveness as a police officer but also strengthens trust and cooperation with those we serve. The commitment to personal growth in this area ensures that you are prepared to meet challenges with confidence, empathy, and respect as a public servant.
Enhance your understanding of Conflict Resolution by reviewing the following resources. Take this opportunity to enhance your leadership effectiveness and expand your influence within the department and community.
Margaret Herrenan: Dare to Disagree (TED Talk)
The Truth about Being the "Stupidest" in the Room (video)
Good Conflict is Necessary! The Upside of Conflict Podcast (35 Minutes)
Kenneth Cloke’s and Joan Goldsmith’s
10 Strategies for Effective Conflict Resolution
