Demonstrating Respect Through Listening
How do you listen? Do you actively listen to understand, or do you listen to respond? This is an important question to consider because effective listening is key to maintaining a professional and respectful department. Active listening helps create a safer and more cohesive work environment by acknowledging different perspectives and valuing every member of the department. It is listening with respect.
Respectful listening strengthens relationships, builds trust, and enhances teamwork. It’s not just about hearing words—it’s about ensuring that people feel heard.
Self-Assessment:
Demonstrating Respect Through Listening
The following self-assessment will help you reflect on your listening habits. Consider your responses honestly and think about how you can improve. Small adjustments in the way you listen can have a big impact on your leadership and effectiveness.
Do I actively listen to my colleagues without interrupting or dismissing their ideas?
How do I acknowledge and show appreciation for the contributions of my fellow officers, regardless of rank or role?
Have I ever made assumptions about a colleague without taking the time to understand their perspective?
When a disagreement arises within the department, do I listen objectively before forming a response?
Do I provide feedback in a way that is constructive and respectful rather than critical or dismissive?
How do I respond when a colleague voices concerns or offers a different point of view?
Do I demonstrate that I am listening through my body language and verbal responses?
When a supervisor or peer provides me with feedback, do I listen with an open mind rather than becoming defensive?
Use this self-assessment to evaluate your commitment to respectful listening. Reflect on your responses, identify areas for growth, and seek feedback from your ECFL coach or a trusted mentor to strengthen your leadership on and off duty.
Respect is the foundation of strong relationships. As a leader, one of the most impactful ways to show respect is by giving others your undivided attention. Engaging with people, asking for their ideas, and truly listening to what they have to say communicates genuine interest and appreciation. It affirms their value as competent, worthwhile individuals.
Being a good listener isn’t easy! It requires mindfulness—setting aside distractions and focusing completely on the speaker. Candace Matthews, Chief Marketing Officer at Amway Corporation, has said that strong leaders build meaningful relationships by making “every person she spoke to feel they were the most important person at that moment.”
Empathy also plays a key role. By taking a moment to consider someone else’s perspective, you gain a deeper understanding of where they are coming from. Your body language reinforces this—leaning forward, making eye contact, and minimizing distractions show that you’re fully present. Small actions, like putting away papers, turning off screens, and ignoring your phone, send a strong message: "I am here, and I am listening."
One powerful habit to develop is pausing before responding. This moment of stillness signals that you truly value their words and gives you time to craft a thoughtful response. For those who tend to think quickly or speak first, embracing silence can feel uncomfortable, but learning to pause is a skill that can strengthen relationships.
How good are you at showing respect through undivided attention? This week, challenge yourself to be fully present in conversations. A little effort can go a long way in building trust and connection within the department.
Active and respectful listening is a crucial skill, especially in law enforcement, leadership, and teamwork. Here are best practices to ensure that your listening demonstrates respect:
Give Your Full Attention
Be Present: Put away distractions like phones or paperwork.
Make Eye Contact: Shows engagement and acknowledgment.
Use Open Body Language: Face the speaker, nod occasionally to show understanding.
Why it matters: It signals that the speaker’s words are important and valued.
Avoid Interrupting
Let the speaker finish their thoughts before responding.
Hold back immediate judgments or solutions; listen fully before forming a response.
Pause before speaking—This allows time to process what was said.
Why it matters: It creates a safe space for open communication and mutual respect.
Show That You Are Listening
Use nonverbal cues: Nodding, leaning slightly forward, and appropriate facial expressions.
Use encouraging verbal cues: "I see," "That makes sense," "Go on," etc.
Paraphrase or Summarize: “So what I hear you saying is…”
Why it matters: It reassures the speaker that their message is being received.
Ask Clarifying Questions
Seek understanding, not assumptions: “Can you elaborate on that?”
Use open-ended questions—Encourages deeper discussion.
Avoid leading questions. Keep them neutral and genuine.
Why it matters: It ensures you fully grasp the speaker’s point before responding.
Respond Thoughtfully and Respectfully
Acknowledge their perspective. Even if you disagree, recognize their viewpoint.
Speak with empathy. Use phrases like “I understand why you feel that way.”
Offer your response calmly and constructively. Focus on the issue, not the person.
Why it matters: It fosters mutual respect and understanding, even in disagreement.
Be Mindful of Tone and Emotions
Stay calm and composed. Avoid reactive or defensive tones.
Match their emotional energy appropriately; Show empathy if they are upset or passionate.
Recognize nonverbal cues in others—Body language can reveal unspoken concerns.
Why it matters: Tone and emotions greatly impact how messages are received and interpreted.
“One of the sincerest forms of respect is actually listening to what another
has to say.”
Listening Matters
Respectful listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about making sure others feel heard. In law enforcement, how you listen directly impacts trust, teamwork, and decision-making. When officers give their full attention, acknowledge different perspectives, and respond thoughtfully, they strengthen relationships within the department and the community.
The following scenarios highlight the importance of active listening in real-world situations. Each one provides best practices to ensure your listening fosters respect, collaboration, and professionalism.
Scenario One: Shift Briefing Concern
During a shift briefing, a rookie officer brings up concerns about an intersection where multiple near-accidents have occurred due to unclear traffic signals. A senior officer rolls their eyes and says, “We’ve always handled it this way.”
Best Practices for Listening Respectfully:
Create an open environment for discussion.
Acknowledge the concern: “That’s a good observation—can you describe what you’ve seen?”
Encourage input from experienced officers: “Let’s take a second to consider if there’s a safety improvement we might be missing.”
Summarize key takeaways and follow up on the concern.
Why it matters: Encouraging listening in team meetings fosters collaboration and innovation in policing.
Scenario Two: Disagreement Between Officers
Two officers have a disagreement over how a recent case was handled. One officer believes proper procedures were not followed, and tensions rise as the discussion escalates.
Best Practices for Handling Conflict with Active Listening:
Mediate by ensuring each officer has a chance to speak without interruption.
Use neutral, open-ended questions: “Can you walk me through what happened from your perspective?”
Identify common ground: “It sounds like both of you want the best outcome for this case. Let’s focus on moving forward.”
Encourage a resolution that respects both perspectives.
Why it matters: Fostering a culture of respect through listening improves teamwork and professionalism.
Scenario Three: Feedback Conversation
A supervisor is giving performance feedback to an officer struggling with report accuracy. The officer becomes defensive, saying they are overwhelmed with their workload.
Best Practices for Providing Feedback Through Active Listening:
Make it a two-way conversation: “I want to understand any challenges you’ve been facing.”
Avoid accusatory language—approach with curiosity: “What support or resources would help you improve this?”
Restate key points: “So you’re saying that balancing multiple reports is where you’re struggling?”
Work together on a solution that acknowledges both concerns.
Why it matters: Respectful listening during feedback helps officers feel supported rather than criticized, leading to better performance and morale.
Respectful listening is a choice. Every interaction—whether in a briefing, on a call, or in a one-on-one conversation—is an opportunity to demonstrate that you value those around you. Officers who commit to listening with attention and empathy build stronger relationships, improve department morale, and make better decisions. Challenge yourself to practice active listening every day—it’s one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to lead with respect.
Enhance your understanding of Demonstrating Respect through Listening by reviewing the following resources. Take this opportunity to enhance your leadership effectiveness and expand your influence within the department.
Eight Ways Police Can Improve Their Active Listening Skills
The art — and value — of listening - American Police Beat Magazine
Enhancing Communication: The Power of Active Listening Skills