Week 30: Eagle Source
Conflict…Its Essential
Conflict is an essential aspect of all relationships. The four personality types all respond differently to conflict. Therefore understanding the personalities and their responses to conflict will help you create healthy, trust-building relationships.
Personality Responses
Let’s look briefly at each personality and a few facts about how each responds to conflict:
Much-Loved Monkeys hate disagreements, however they can become quite angry at times. If they feel rejected or invalidated they can react with harsh words and a hot temper. They may be quick to say “I’m sorry” after conflict and are generally willing to forgive. Their first desire in conflict is to be heard, and then, to restore the relationship. Many times the resolution of the problem is not as important to the Monkeys as the resolution to the relationship.
Leading Lions see conflict as “going into battle”. Most Lions are natural-born fighters and they respect strength in others. When disagreeing with a Lion, avoid win-or-lose situations and focus on opportunities for creative conflict resolution strategies. Their desire in conflict is to be respected and trusted to get the job done. Lions have their eyes on the big picture of winning, many times at the expense of their relationships.
Competent Camels appreciate rules and procedures. They are literal thinkers, and in conflict, they see black and white solutions with very little gray area. Camels focus on details, so in conflict with a Camel, stay away from vague language. Their desire in conflict is to create clarity, accuracy, and a logical resolution. Camels have their eyes on the minute details of the plan, many times at the expense of the relationship.
Tranquil Turtles disdain conflict and need time to ready themselves for the discussion. They generally deal with conflict in a very passive manner. Turtles are masters at avoiding verbal confrontation. When in conflict with a Turtle, create a safe environment that allows for one-on-one dialogue. Their desire in conflict is to be fully heard and given the time to process a resolution.
Successfully Resolving Conflict
What can we do to resolve conflict successfully?
First, make sure you understand the other person’s personality language.
Second, choose an appropriate setting for the conflict.
Third, listen actively to fully understand the issue.
Lastly, take personal responsibility for what you need to own.
Perhaps most importantly, people in conflict do not have to agree. The resolution to conflict centers around the ability to compromise, not necessarily agree. This allows you to move forward to a successful solution.
Reflection Questions
Our focus in this session is on learning the necessity and value of conflict and developing strategies to resolve conflict depending on each personality type.
Here are a few questions for your consideration to better understand and successfully manage conflict:
Recall a time when conflict was handled in a healthy manner in your personal or professional life. What kept each encounter healthy and productive?
Recall a time when you dealt with conflict in an unhealthy way in your personal or professional life. What was the result?
What steps can you take to encourage healthy conflict within your team? What about with your friends and family?
Higher Flight
1. Would you dare to work with someone who is not an echo-chamber for you? To work with someone who considers it their job to prove you wrong so that your work is stronger? Be challenged with this TED Talk by Margaret Herrenan:
2. This short video interview with Simon Sinek will encourage you to speak up with questions when you feel that doing so will create unhealthy conflict – and the surprising result that may come from doing so:
The Truth About Being the "Stupidest" in the Room
3. Take a listen to Patrick Lencioni, leadership expert and author, as he provides practical tips for leaders and teams looking to bring more healthy conflict into their decision making. Listen to him in The Upside of Conflict Podcast (35 Minutes) Good Conflict is Necessary as well as the Table Group's Conflict Continuum (2 minutes):
Remember to use your Eagle Teams Digital Notebook to document your thoughts and insights.
