Active Listening
“The quality of our listening determines the quality of our influence.”
Imagine this: You're sharing an idea with a colleague, but their eyes drift to their computer screen, and they occasionally nod without showing genuine engagement. How does that make you feel? Now, flip the scenario—you're the one multitasking as someone speaks to you. In both cases, the essence of the message gets lost, and the opportunity for meaningful connection slips away.
In our close-knit team at the Morgan County Probate Office, every conversation is an opportunity to strengthen relationships, clarify tasks, and solve challenges together. Active listening is the foundation of those connections. It’s not just about hearing words; it’s about truly understanding and responding thoughtfully.
How well are you practicing active listening? Let’s explore with a quick self-assessment.
Self-Assessment: Active Listening
Please take a few moments to answer the following self-reflection questions. Where can you identify opportunities for growth in your leadership and daily life?
Do I listen without interrupting or thinking about my response too soon?
Do I give my full attention to the speaker, without distractions?
Am I genuinely interested in understanding their perspective?
Do I ask questions to clarify what’s being said?
Can I recall key details from recent conversations?
Do I use eye contact and other non-verbal cues to show I’m engaged?
Do I show empathy and understanding toward the speaker’s concerns?
Do I avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions?
Reflect on these questions thoughtfully and answer them with honesty. Let your responses guide you in evaluating your active listening skills and in identifying areas where you can grow and improve.
“One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.”
Active listening involves fully focusing on the speaker, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. In our small office, this practice ensures that each team member feels valued and understood, fostering a collaborative and respectful environment. To understand why active listening is so important in the workplace, it helps to break down what makes communication effective. Every conversation has two main goals: first, to clearly understand the message being shared, including both the words and the emotions behind them. Second, to show the other person that their input is valued, that you’re paying attention, and that you care about what they’re saying. This second goal isn’t just about being polite (though that’s always a good thing). It reflects a simple truth: when people feel unheard, they often disengage.
Leaders who listen intentionally can identify potential challenges, uncover solutions, and find opportunities to improve. Practicing active listening also demonstrates personal accountability and shows your commitment to understanding and supporting both your colleagues and the citizens you serve. When you make the effort to truly listen, you create an environment where everyone feels respected, building trust and strengthening communication across all levels of the office.
Active listening isn’t just a tool for better communication; it’s a way to build trust and ensure smoother interactions, whether with citizens or colleagues. In a small office like the Morgan County Probate Office, every interaction matters. Let’s explore two scenarios where active listening could change the outcome—one with the practice in place and one without.
Scenario 1: A Team Meeting About Office Procedures
The staff meets to discuss potential updates to an outdated filing system. One colleague shares an idea that could improve efficiency but might require a change in routine.
Approach 1 - Not Practicing Active Listening:
The meeting leader quickly dismisses the idea, assuming it won’t work without asking questions or hearing the full explanation. Other team members hesitate to share their thoughts, fearing their input will also be ignored.
Outcome 1: The office continues using the outdated system, missing an opportunity to improve processes. Team morale drops, as staff feel their voices aren’t valued.
Approach 2 - Practicing Active Listening:
The meeting leader gives the colleague their full attention, listens without interrupting, and asks questions to better understand the idea. They repeat key points to confirm understanding and encourage other team members to weigh in. Even if the idea isn’t implemented immediately, they acknowledge its value and commit to exploring it further.
Outcome 2: The colleague feels heard and appreciated, boosting their motivation and engagement. Other staff members are encouraged to share ideas, fostering a culture of collaboration and problem-solving. The office gains valuable input for future improvements.
Scenario 2: Addressing a Citizen's Complaint
A citizen calls the office, upset about a recent experience with the probate process. They feel the instructions they received were unclear, which caused delays and added stress during an already emotional time.
Approach 1 - Not Practicing Active Listening:
The staff member on the call listens only partially, cutting the citizen off to defend the office’s policies. They provide a brief, generic explanation without addressing the citizen’s specific concerns. The citizen ends the call feeling dismissed, angrier than before, and posts a negative review online about their experience.
Outcome 1: The citizen feels unheard, which escalates their frustration and erodes trust in the office. The situation may require additional follow-up, creating more work for the team, and the office’s reputation is impacted.
Approach 2 - Practicing Active Listening:
The staff member listens attentively, letting the citizen fully explain their concerns without interruption. They acknowledge the citizen’s feelings, repeat key points to confirm understanding, and provide a clear and empathetic response. They also offer practical solutions, such as a step-by-step guide or scheduling a follow-up appointment to ensure the process goes smoothly moving forward.
Outcome 2: The citizen feels heard and validated, which diffuses their frustration. They leave the conversation with a better understanding of the process and a sense that the office genuinely cares about their concerns. The positive interaction reinforces trust in the office and prevents further escalation.
John Izzo, author of Stepping Up: How Taking Responsibility Changes Everything, emphasizes the critical role of active listening in building engagement and trust. He states, “The bottom line is that people want to be heard and feel valued… When decisions are made without getting input from people, they tend to hold back their ideas and take less initiative to make improvements.”
By listening attentively, leaders and staff members alike can create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing ideas, voicing concerns, and contributing to improvements. As the scenarios illustrate, active listening doesn’t just solve problems; it encourages collaboration, strengthens relationships, and builds a workplace culture of mutual respect.
Follow these actionable tips to improve your listening skills and make your conversations more meaningful:
Be Fully Present: Listening starts with your attention. Remove distractions like your phone or other tasks and give the speaker your undivided focus. Before a conversation, put your phone on silent and turn away from your computer screen.
Show Genuine Empathy: Listening is about understanding not just the words but the emotions behind them. Put yourself in the speaker’s shoes to connect with their feelings. During the next conversation, acknowledge the speaker’s emotions by saying, “It sounds like you’re feeling...”
Practice Patience: Sometimes people need time to express themselves. Avoid interrupting or finishing their sentences. Let them share fully before responding. When you feel the urge to jump in, count to five in your head before speaking.
Stay Open-Minded: Approach each conversation with curiosity. Resist the urge to judge or dismiss ideas before hearing the full story. When you feel defensive or disagree, ask, “Can you explain more about why you think that?”
Summarize What You Hear: Restate or paraphrase the speaker’s key points to confirm your understanding and show you’re actively engaged. Say, “So what I’m hearing is…” and restate their main points.
Ask Clarifying Questions: Show you care about fully understanding by asking thoughtful questions that encourage the speaker to elaborate. Use open-ended questions like, “Can you tell me more about that?”
Demonstrate Respect: Value the speaker’s input, even when you don’t agree. Avoid dismissive language or cutting them off. When you disagree, say, “I see where you’re coming from. Here’s another perspective...”
Follow Through on Commitments: If action items come from the conversation, make sure to follow up promptly. This shows the speaker that their input matters. After a meeting, send a quick email confirming any next steps you’ve agreed on.
In our office, leadership isn't confined to titles; it's demonstrated through actions. By practicing active listening, we set a standard for open communication, trust, and mutual respect. This approach not only enhances our interactions but also contributes to a positive workplace culture where everyone feels heard and valued. Let's commit to listening with intention and empathy, making each interaction meaningful.
Expand your understanding of Active Listening with the following resources. Use this opportunity to refine your leadership skills and navigate challenges with the care and professionalism that define The MCPO Way.
How to Become a Better Listener
Robin Abrahams and Groysberg
Strategic Listening: How Managers, Coworkers, and Organizations Can Become Better at Listening
The Art of Active Listening: The Harvard Business Review Guide
Amy Gallo (video, 7:38)
The Art of Listening
Simon Sinek video (3:07)