Conflict Resolution
Conflict is a natural part of any workplace, and Torch Technologies is no exception. While conflict may feel uncomfortable, it often presents an opportunity for growth, innovation, and improved communication. The key lies in addressing conflicts constructively to strengthen relationships and maintain a positive work environment.
Healthy conflict occurs when people feel safe to express differing ideas and opinions respectfully. This openness fosters trust, transparency, and better collaboration. By encouraging healthy conflict, you can help our office grow stronger, both as a team and in the service we provide to the community. Healthy conflict resolution begins with self-awareness. Understanding how you approach disagreements can reveal opportunities to strengthen your communication and leadership skills.
Self-Assessment: Conflict Resolution
Please take a few moments to answer the following self-reflection questions. Where can you identify opportunities for growth in your leadership and daily life?
What is my natural conflict resolution style? Do I avoid conflicts, confront them directly, or work toward solutions that balance compromise and collaboration?
Think back to the most recent disagreement at work—how did I handle it? Would I approach it differently now?
How well do I listen to others during disagreements? Do I focus on understanding their concerns or preparing my response?
Do I actively try to manage my emotions when disagreements arise?
Am I focused on finding solutions and common ground, or do I get caught up in blame?
Do I take time to understand the emotions and motivations of others involved in conflicts?
How am I contributing to an environment where healthy conflict is welcome? Could I do more to create a space for open communication and differing viewpoints?
How do I encourage conversations that value diverse perspectives and constructive feedback?
Reflect on these questions thoughtfully and answer them with honesty. Let your responses guide you in evaluating your conflict resolution skills and in identifying areas where you can grow and improve.
“You can’t shake hands with a closed fist.”
In a close-knit office, conflicts can feel personal, but addressing them thoughtfully ensures smoother working relationships and better service for the citizens we assist. Follow these steps to approach conflicts constructively:
Recognize the Issue
Pay attention to the underlying cause of the conflict rather than just the surface symptoms. Is the issue rooted in miscommunication, differing priorities, or unmet expectations? Understanding the deeper issue will help you approach the situation constructively.Choose a Neutral Time and Place
Timing and setting matter when addressing a disagreement. A rushed conversation at the front desk or in the middle of assisting a citizen may escalate the conflict rather than resolve it. Find a private, calm space to talk when you and the other person are both ready to focus on the discussion.Listen Without Judgment
Allow the other person to share their perspective without interrupting or jumping to conclusions. Use affirming gestures like nodding, paraphrasing, or summarizing their key points to show you are genuinely engaged. Listening often diffuses tension and helps clarify the issue.Acknowledge the Role of Emotions
It is natural for emotions to play a role in conflicts, especially in a high-stress environment. Ignoring or dismissing feelings can escalate the situation. Instead, validate the emotions of everyone involved, even if you do not agree with their perspective.Shift Focus to Shared Objectives
When conflict arises, it is easy to get stuck in disagreements over details. Shifting the conversation to shared goals—like serving citizens efficiently or maintaining a respectful office environment—can help everyone refocus on finding solutions.Collaborate on Solutions
Approach conflict resolution as a team effort. Brainstorm potential solutions together, ensuring that everyone involved has a chance to contribute ideas. A shared solution is more likely to be effective and respected.Follow Up to Ensure Success
After agreeing on a solution, check in later to ensure it is working. Following up shows that you value the resolution and are committed to maintaining a positive working relationship.
These steps help transform disagreements into opportunities for better understanding and stronger relationships. At Torch Technologies, where collaboration and daily interactions are critical, resolving conflicts constructively ensures a positive atmosphere and better service for the citizens we serve.
Take a minute and think about the last conflict you experienced. What was the situation, and how did it escalate? More often than not, conflicts begin the same way—misuse of words. Somebody says something, it gets misinterpreted, and a judgment is made. The result? Tension builds, and what might have been a small misunderstanding turns into a larger issue.
What are some words that can escalate conflict?
“Always” / “Never” – Absolutes like these can make people feel attacked or misunderstood.
“You” (in an accusatory way) – Beginning a sentence with "You" often comes across as blame, putting the other person on the defensive.
“Calm down” – This phrase is often perceived as dismissive and can invalidate the person’s feelings.
“Whatever” – Often seen as dismissive or indicating apathy, which can frustrate others.
“But” – Using "but" after a positive statement can negate the sentiment and lead to misunderstanding.
“Why?” (in a critical tone) – Can sound accusatory and provoke defensiveness.
“You’re wrong” – Directly telling someone they are wrong can escalate a disagreement instead of fostering dialogue.
“Should” – Implies judgment or unmet expectations, which can feel critical.
“I don’t care” – Suggests indifference or lack of concern, invalidating the other person’s feelings.
Insults like "stupid" – Demeaning or insulting language directly attacks the person and is a clear conflict trigger.
When we understand how certain words and phrases escalate conflict, we can take a more thoughtful approach to our conversations. Let’s look at a real-world example of how addressing conflict constructively can make a difference.
“Conflict can and should be handled constructively; when it is, relationships benefit. Conflict avoidance is not the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and of poor communication.”
Resolving a Conflict at Magnolia Records Office
The Situation:
June and Clara, two experienced clerks at the Magnolia Records Office, both rely on the office printer for their daily work. June needs it to print certified copies of vital records, while Clara uses it to prepare large information packets for historical research requests. One morning, June finds the printer tied up with Clara’s big print job and remarks, “Some of us have deadlines, Clara.” Feeling hurt by the comment, Clara replies, “Well, maybe you should plan better,” and the tension in the room grows.
How They Resolved It:
Clara takes a deep breath and suggests they step aside to talk things over. In their discussion, June shares how stressful it is to meet citizen deadlines when unexpected delays occur. Clara listens and acknowledges June’s concerns, then explains how challenging it is to complete large research jobs under her own time constraints. They focus on their shared goals: delivering high-quality service efficiently. Together, they come up with a solution: urgent print jobs, like June’s, will get priority, and Clara will schedule her larger tasks during slower office hours. They also agree to communicate ahead of time about any big jobs to avoid surprises.
The Outcome:
The conversation not only resolves the issue but also helps June and Clara understand each other’s challenges better. They create a structured approach that benefits the whole office, ensuring fewer workflow interruptions. By taking the time to talk and find common ground, June and Clara create a more positive and supportive work environment.
Handling disagreements can feel uncomfortable, but it does not have to be. By approaching conflicts with empathy, understanding, and a willingness to find solutions, we can turn challenging moments into opportunities for better communication and stronger relationships. Here are some strategies to help manage and resolve conflicts constructively:
Promote Open Communication: Encourage respectful conversations so everyone feels comfortable sharing concerns and ideas. Open communication helps prevent misunderstandings and makes it easier to address issues early. When a disagreement arises, ask open-ended questions like, “What are your thoughts on this?” to invite dialogue.
Recognize Conflict as a Growth Opportunity: See disagreements as a chance to share ideas and explore new perspectives. Instead of avoiding tension, remind yourself that discussing different viewpoints can lead to stronger teamwork and improved solutions. When you notice tension, remind yourself (and others, if appropriate) that discussing different viewpoints can lead to better outcomes.
Address Issues Early: Conflicts often grow worse when left unresolved. Tackling problems quickly helps keep relationships positive and prevents unnecessary stress. If you sense tension or frustration, find a quiet moment to bring it up within the same day or as soon as possible.
Set Clear Expectations: Clarifying communication norms and expectations reduces misunderstandings. When everyone understands what is expected in terms of behavior and collaboration, disagreements are less likely to arise. Make time to discuss these norms regularly, either informally or in meetings, to ensure everyone is aligned.
Lead by Example: Show calmness and respect during disagreements. By actively listening, staying patient, and focusing on finding solutions instead of assigning blame, you can model effective conflict resolution for others. For example, try summarizing what someone has said to ensure clarity, like, “So what you’re saying is…”
Encourage Empathy: When disagreements occur, take a moment to consider the other person’s perspective. Helping others see each other’s viewpoints can foster understanding and reduce tension. During discussions, ask questions like, “How do you think they are feeling about this situation?”
Facilitate Resolutions: If a disagreement becomes challenging, offer to mediate or guide the conversation to keep it productive and fair. Provide a safe and structured environment where everyone feels heard. For instance, set a ground rule that everyone has a chance to speak without interruption.
Conflict resolution is a skill that strengthens relationships and improves teamwork. By addressing disagreements constructively, we create a culture of mutual respect and collaboration in our office. Let us embrace healthy conflict as an opportunity to grow, innovate, and better serve our clients.
Expand your understanding of Conflict Resolution with the following resources. Use this opportunity to refine your leadership skills and navigate challenges with the care and professionalism that define The MCPO Way.
Conflict Resolution: Eagle Center for Leadership
Margaret Herrenan: Dare to Disagree (TED Talk)
The Truth about Being the "Stupidest" in the Room (video)
Good Conflict is Necessary! The Upside of Conflict Podcast (35 Minutes)
Kenneth Cloke’s and Joan Goldsmith’s
10 Strategies for Effective Conflict Resolution